Well it took a couple days to get here but I am very nicely having a bit of a pity party and feeling sorry for myself.
Yes we all launch a one person party at some point in our lives, be it over the last cookie being gone, or a major life upheaval we deserve to have a moment or two. I believe that after everything I’ve been through these past couple weeks means I can have some time where I’m the important one for a bit, and I get to be selfish.
I think these small moments we allow ourselves bolster us up when everything goes wrong. I also am a firm believer that there is such thing as “too much”.
If you are spending all your time feeling sorry for yourself there is never a way to fix it. For example, if I mope and complain about how much I hate my job but don’t do anything to fix it…..whats the point. You aren’t hurting anyone but yourself.
With my pain levels as high as they are it is pretty easy for me to just curl up and cry; top ten on my bucket list right now. What if I rephrase it as “my pain is really bad, today will be slow, tomorrow I vow to cook supper”, this allows me to have my pity moment without pushing myself too hard, but it makes an expectation that tomorrow will be better (and lots of the time it is).
Personally, I’m struggling with not letting it get to far right now. I have lots of pain and discomfort in my abdomen and my anxiety is ruling night times. Being in pain and being tired are some of the things that will instantly turn any sane adult into something similar to a toddler. When we revert to this state we are aware of some pretty basic facts: I hurt / I am hungry/ I am tired, I don’t know why I feel like this, and I don’t know how to feel better.
Just because we can’t see what the fix is right now doesn’t mean it isn’t around the corner. Keep your head up and take small moments for yourself so you can keep swinging at what gets thrown your way.